The Beauty and The Big Come Down.

Yesterday was one of the most perfect days that could have ever been. It was one of my bestest friend's baby boy's naming ceremony (like a christening, only God is not invited to this one).

I don't know how to find the words for something so beautiful that my heart just broke. Baby Boy is so loved. So many people would move mountains and more for him. He will never be lonely with all the love around him.

The little speeches were so full of emotion that it felt like huge waves of feeling just washed over my soul and leaked out my eyes. Baby boy has been born of true love and he embodies all that is good and right with the world. He is hope and wonder, he is innocence and adventure, he is vulnerability and protection. He is another little part of whatever it is that makes me keep dragging myself forward through this headwind. I want to be a support, a friend, a role model and someone to enjoy time with.

Another reason not to give up.

I can't even explain why I love him so very much. I sort of feel guilty, like I don't have the right or something. I can't elucidate it. I have such respect for Baby Boy's Mumma and Dad. They've done so much for me, they are selfless and wonderful. They've overcome so much and worked so hard. They have so many qualities that I aspire to and bloody hell, I really could wax lyrical about them! They are just fabulous. I even feel ok with their hugs. Which is quite something.

I think maybe a picture would be good here.

Planning future adventures/world domination......

So yesterday was beautiful. Haven't laughed so hard SOBER in forever. Met some great people who I hope I get to meet again. Hence the comedown today.

I couldn't get out of bed. I wanted to but my body ached. It was implied I was lazy (lazy = fat and stupid). My heart ached with, guess what, hiraeth. I wish to work toward a little family of my own.

Is it something I can never have?

Today Was Perfect

Today is the greatest
Day I've ever known
Can't live for tomorrow,
Tomorrow's much too long
I'll burn my eyes out
Before I get out 

I wanted more
Than life could ever grant me
Bored by the chore
Of saving face

Today is the greatest
Day I've never known
Can't wait for tomorrow
I might not have that long
I'll tear my heart out
Before I get out

Pink ribbon scars
That never forget
I tried so hard
To cleanse these regrets
My angel wings
Were bruised and restrained
My belly stings

Today is
Today is
Today is
The greatest day


I want to turn you

Today is the greatest
Today is the greatest day
Today is the greatest day
That I have ever really known